few r funny, rest is sorry

Response from a Frustrated victim of chain mails...

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain mails to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 and continuing it in 2009 also.
Because of your kindness:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer...
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.
* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)
* Still open to help somebody from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of $ 100 million. So much trustworthy.
* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh , Tirupathi Balaji pics etc. Now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a dog will bite you today at 6:30pm. Nothing has happened till now.....................but who knows. So please forward....

Violin - Play

Perception.. ..something to think about...

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007.

The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about one hour.. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule. 4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk..
6 minutes: A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again. 10 minutes:A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we see beauty only if it comes under certain norms and conditions? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context? One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made.... How many other things are we missing

Sometimes, we donot get to see this....

One old man was sitting with his 25 years old son in the train. Train isabout to leave the station. All passengers are settling down their seat. Astrain started young man was filled with lot of joy and curiosity. He wassitting on the window side. He went out one hand and feeling the passingair. He shouted, "Papa see all trees are going behind". Old man smile andadmired son feelings. Beside the young man one couple was sitting andlisting all the conversion between father and son. They were little awkwardthe attitude of 25 years old man behaving like a small child.Suddenly young man again shouted, "Papa see the pond and animals. Clouds aremoving with train". Couple was watching the young man in embarrassingly. Nowits start raining and some of water drops touches the young man's hand. Hefilled with joy and he closed the eyes. He shouted again," Papa it'sraining, water is touching me, see papa".Couple couldn't help themselves and ask to old man. Why don't you visit the Doctor and get treated your son.Old man said," Yes, We were coming from hospital only. Today only my son gotthe eyes first time in life...".

Moral: "Don’t draw conclusions until you know all the facts".

The luck factor

The confidential letters between intimate husband and wife

Hi All,
To My Dear Wife,You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you & I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight.'

John,When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Marriot Hotel with Michael, one of my students, who is also on the tennis team. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, who is 18 years old.As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand although it may appear that we are in the same situation, there is one mathematical difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow

Interesting & Meaningful Equations

Don't forget to read the conclusion in the end
Equation 1
Humans = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore:Humans = Donkeys + Work + enjoy
Therefore:Humans - enjoy = Donkeys + Work
In other words,Humans that don't enjoy = Donkeys that work.
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore:Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore: Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words: Men who do not earn money = Donkeys
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++++! +++++ +
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore:Women = Donkeys + spend
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,Women who do not spend = Donkeys
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
To Conclude:From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men who don't earn money = Women who don't spend
So Men earn money not to let women become donkeys!
And women spend not to let men become donkeys!
So, We have:Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + Spend money
Therefore we can conclude
Men + Women = 2 Donkeys that live happily together